How Can You Avoid These Simple End-of-Life Regrets
Don’t regret things on your deathbed; change your destiny now.
What do you think your deathbed regrets will be? That was the question that someone on Twitter posted last week. They then listed ten regrets. I have to say I didn’t relate to them.
But, what do I think I would regret on my deathbed if not these ten?
So, I started to make a list, and the strangest thing happened at the end of it. I realised that by making a list, I could stop any of them being regrets because I still had time.
This can work for you as much as for me. What would you regret, and how can you ensure these do not become a reality? You might join me on some of mine or have a different ten.
Not appreciating the hard but younger days of my children
There are days when I look around my lounge after they have gone to bed and shake my head. Toys everywhere, dirty clothes that have been taken off and remnants of food the labradors haven’t found. It is enough to drive you crazy.
This is the same when I have spent all weekend with them climbing over me or wanting my attention, exhausted; you wish they would give you five minutes, but then I remember.
This will not last forever; as they get older, this will get better. They will swap my company for that of their friends on social media. Rather than making me happy, it makes me incredibly sad. These days will not last forever, so make the most of those days when you can.
Not spending more time with my parents.
This thought hit me hard a couple of weeks ago. Like many of us with busy lives, we don’t always see my parents as often as I would like. It always seems to be a struggle when we see them with work and the girls at school.
Then I thought, how would I feel if I hadn’t seen one of my babies for almost a month? As most of us would admit, pretty awful. This is why I try to see my parents as much as possible.
One day I will not have this problem of having to visit them, and it breaks my heart to even think this could be a reality.
Being pulled into everyone else’s bullshit
In my younger years, I was awful at this; I was constantly drawn into one person’s drama or another. I was trying to sort arguments out between friends and negotiate cease-fires constantly.
I discovered one thing, nobody thanked me for it. Most of the time, the two arguers would turn it around as my problem. This is why I am not drawn into anyone else’s drama.
Not caring enough for myself and giving everything to others.
Much like the regret above, I have been guilty of giving more of myself to others than I should. As a result, they take all my energy leaving nothing for me.
It is, however, vital that we take some time for ourselves. Whether that is a trip to the local bookshop or a hot bath, take the time to recharge your batteries. If you do not look after yourself, you cannot look after anyone else.
Letting money rule my life
Have you ever thought about winning the lottery? How much do you want to win? How much would be enough? When you think about it, you realise your number increases as you think of more things you want.
Time has taught me that people are much more important than things. There isn’t ever enough money, even if you are Elon Musk.
Trying to build a business has taken me away from the people I love, yet still, I never seem to work enough hours. So now, I work for just what I need. Of course, I could earn more money working more hours, but I am not bothered; people are more important than things.
Spending time stressing about the little stuff
Seneca once said we suffer more in our imagination than in reality. We worry so much about the small stuff that we have no energy for life-changing events.
This habit of worrying about the small stuff returns to our fight and flight response; we are convincing ourselves that these things are more severe than they are.
Try to only worry about life or death situations. For example, if you are stressing about giving a presentation tomorrow, think, will I die if I fall flat on my face? Will this affect me after this week? If the answer is no, then it isn’t worth worrying about.
Not spending more time looking at the beauty around me
Have you ever taken a walk in nature and stopped? Time to appreciate the massive tree that has stood for hundreds of years before you. The tree is home to many animals, a complete ecosystem.
One evening during the lockdown, I went out into my front garden and heard a noise. It took me a moment to realise what the sound was. Next to our house, in the tree, were tens of birds singing their evening song. Without the traffic, I heard it for the first time. Nature was pushing back.
You do not have to be in lockdown to appreciate the beauty around us. So whether you travel or take a walk around the local park, wonder at what a wonderful place our planet is.
Not working harder to make my side hustle pay full-time wages
I have been blogging for fifteen years, maybe longer. I started making decent money two years ago because I had never put time into it before, rather than having a schedule I posted when I was ready. I wrote when I had an idea rather than collecting ideas as I went through life.
This lack of inertia for the first thirteen years meant I made no money. Had I started hustling when I started, I believe I would be writing full-time rather than fitting it in with my job.
Treat your side hustle as a job, schedule hours to do it and put in the effort; you will not be sorry when you tell your boss you are leaving to work in a coffee shop somewhere warm.
Not travelling enough and seeing more of the world
In my twenties, I travelled quite a bit. Never to your traditional 18–30 resorts, but to places like India, Venezuela and Thailand. These adventures had a lasting impact on my life; they taught me something about life. But, unfortunately, then I stopped making the time to travel.
My regret would be not to continue travelling throughout the years; imagine the places I could have seen. Now we have three children and holidays like this are not practical or affordable. If I had my time again, I probably would still be travelling.
Not appreciating how much my beautiful dog loved me.
This is another area similar to my children and my parents. My best friend is a black Labrador I have had since he was a puppy. He has been with me through good times; his love has never changed or faltered.
He is an old man now, and I know he will walk over the rainbow bridge one day, not too far away and leave me forever. It breaks my heart the thought of it. I have always loved him, but only in his later years do I know what I will lose. I wish I had spent every minute of the day with him beside me.
What do you value?
So these are ten regrets I would have. There is still time to ensure they will not be regrets on my deathbed. What regrets do you think you will have? What do you value now that you did not in your younger years?
Let me know. Once you identify what matters most to you, you’ll be less tempted to trade it for a momentary rush of ticking a box or spending just one more hour at a job that would replace you in a heartbeat.